you, sir, just gave me diarrhea

it only took me one harassing email and one drunken voice mail from lara roller to remind me i haven't updated the chompers in a while, a real long while. what do i talk about first? i'm going back and re-reading all of the postings since i last digitally spoke out, and i feel like a dick. congratulations to everyone, whether i've said this in emails or late night phone calls or awkward mornings-after while you run out of my apartment... for the jobs and the apartments and the knockers and the excellent projects and magnificent holiday decorations and table settings and new roomates and stolen bikes from the upper stories and the fingerless chili and tweaked out but still exciting businazz trips... what a time we're all having, right?

as for me, i've turned into a teenager again, what with the moving back home. some people might say that one of the most difficult things anyone would have to deal with in life is, perhaps, the loss of a child, or going to war and killing for something you didn't believe in, or the return of celine dion, but no. it is moving back home with your parents. especially after almost 7 years of being independently irresponsible. i'd rather not have someone remind me of what a waste of space i am, thankyouverymuch.

bye, mom.
where are you going?
uh, out.
ok. when will you be back?
um, i don't know.
can you give me a time?
why?
it just makes me feel better.
how about never.
oh, don't be ridiculous. it's late, won't you be tired?
mom, it's 7:30.
oh, fine. don't let the cat out!

every. damn. time. although, living with the rents has some of its pluses... my mom didn't just buy one of these for the cats, but two. i'll let you decide what you think it is...

the only thing i'll say is the batteries are almost dead.

alright, time to update my life. i've gotten a new drivers license, and a new phone number. the volkswagen is still in phoenix, but all fixed up and ready for me to pick him up. i'm currently filling out an Economic Hardship Deferment Request [and for all of you employed suckers out there, thats professional talk for "i'm employed but not making any money and there's no way in hell i can pay my school loans back right now". it's really helping my self-image]. i'm working on two short films right now, production designing one of them, and considering a third. jobs keep finding me, but free ones. i've just recently been schmoozing enough that the prospects of paying jobs might come in soon, and we all know that is one of the things that doesn't come to me naturally. i've been meeting great people, teaching my little brother to drive, and not communicating enough to my real friends. forgive me!
some information i know you all will enjoy, or commiserate with: i had to give a presentation at AFI for the film i'm production designing. to their class. i don't know if i've mentioned my new california BFF erika yet, but we're actually co-production designing this one. during our prep for it, i was lightweight freaking out, due to our exposure to those hellish design critiques. erika kept telling me to calm down, mentioning how we knock socks off and what not, and i did. we presented our design concept + planned implementation as much as we could, and then discussed it with the professors and students. to me, everything seemed normal. we were in the bathroom afterwards and erika started ranting:

why the hell was that old ass man asking us questions not only before we were finished explaining, but before we even started?!?
what do you mean?
he didn't even let us talk! that was so annoying.
well, yeah, that's how they always are.
what are?
critiques.
but that was just a presentation.
no no no... don't worry, that's how they always are.
that's fucking ridiculous!

i'm glad thati was able to have some insider information. i was also reminded that i wasn't crazy for the first couple of years at school. one thing that i think is really incredible to mention is that during the discussion you get real answers for real problems. for example: there's this scene of two teenagers on a roof. more than likely, we're not going to find a house that not only looks great on the outside, looks great on the inside, AND has a roof with a safe enough slope for two teenage actors and a camera + crew to stand on. most of our discussion circled around how to cheaply build the roof in a sound stage and get all the shots we need... and it's really going to happen! practical people! i'm in love.

speaking of that... lara's married. cassie's getting married. kim's new roommate has a girlfriend but not for long. luke's going on dates and still coming home to a cuddlefest. mikey is april's first husband, according to her psychic. greg's got the cutest and fattest cat i've ever seen through a locked apartment door.
and i have a BF.
the producer. from texas. with cowboy boots and a bmw and fantastic taste in literature and women.
i'm smitten. and he still thinks my laziness and lack of income is cute. it's perfect.
despite us being one wet and hottt mess [it was raining all day in LA, which is disastrous], here's the schmoo...


i miss everyone, thus, i shall leave you with this:

dolphin sex